Letting Go

Posted on by Cheryl Capaldo Traylor

I’ve been letting go lately. This pause-button pandemic has given me space and time to re-envision a different way my life could be. This leave-taking of “normalcy” has been therapeutic for me, but not in the way I would’ve expected it.

My introverted self doesn’t really notice a difference in my day-to-day activities. Mostly. I did finally have shoulder surgery three weeks ago after a couple cancellations and reschedulings. I am going to PT twice weekly where everyone is fully vetted (temperature and the usual coronavirus questions) and masked. I wouldn’t feel comfortable going if they weren’t. But for us, not much has changed, at least so far.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not happy about the unfortunate series of events that got us here. I could do without 350,000+ global deaths, businesses shuttering, and various grocery shortages. This is not an easeful time by any means of the imagination.

But this pause-button time has given me a chance to see things differently. I can not remember a time when my country has been more polarized. And that polarization has trickled down into every facet of our lives. Conspiracy theories abound. Anger erupts on social media and in real life. Science deniers and talk show hosts sow seeds of discord and disbelief. And FFS, masks are a serious source of contention. Who are you if you choose to wear one? Who are you if you refuse? Who decides? Everything has become politicized.

I’m watching to see how people react and, quite honestly, it’s disturbing. I’ve written about this ad nauseam. So I’m not going to elaborate again. I’m sure you have many of your own stories.

What I’m really trying to get at is sometimes the amount of effort and energy you pour into something just isn’t worth it anymore. So I’ve stopped. I don’t feel obligated to anything or anyone that’s not working towards more kindness, more love, more peace, more equality, more justice. I’m not interested in small talk, divisive rhetoric, propaganda, one-sided relationships, hate-mongering, and pettiness.
I. Am. Done.

The poet/philosopher David Whyte says it much better than I can, so I’m going to step down off my soapbox and let him say what I’m trying to. 

“You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.”

― David Whyte

One more time:
Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you. 

And now, although technically not a poet or philosopher (actually, I’m not sure what he is:)), here’s a short clip from Snoop Dogg that made me laugh so hard just at the perfect moment I needed to hear it. Wisdom comes from many different directions and laughter does a body good! Snoop Dogg says let it go.

That’s it for now. Please let me know how you are doing and what’s going on where you are. 

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*And may all beings everywhere be healthy, safe, happy, and free of suffering.*

 

26 thoughts on “Letting Go”

  1. So glad to see you are recuperating nicely. Hope the kitty is too. Keep feeling better and staying safe. (Still having WP issues with your site but I won’t give up as I so enjoy reading your posts.)

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  2. I. Am. Done. right with you, Cheryl. With so much going on, really, can’t we just have some love and consideration for one another? I agree – must it all be politicized? What a lovely poem by David Wayne and his all-too-true last line. Don’t know how you came across that clip from Snoop Dog, but I just love it. Thank you! Hope your shoulder is doing better every day! j.

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    1. Thanks, Jeanne. My shoulder is feeling wonderful. I’m not in any pain. I’m a little sore after my PT, which I am now doing at home. Yes! Snoop Dogg is so funny. I watched that over and over. I felt that! But now that we are starting to be able to go out more, well—yikes! I think we will be back in shelter-in-place soon. Be well, Jeanne:) x

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  5. Well said, Cheryl, and that poem is perfect. The first two verses really hook me:

    “You must learn one thing:
    the world was made to be free in.

    Give up all the other worlds
    except the one to which you belong.

    How long does it take to realise that the world was made to be free in? How long does it take to embrace the world of you and live it to the full without comparing your own world to others and the conflicting values that go with that comparing?

    I’ve struggled with these questions for years, becoming more conscious of them though in the last few years and trying to address them in me.

    We get all the US madness reported here in the UK, we get out own madness reported here. Many people hope we will learn lessons, but those who think this already have the right mindsets, so how to convince others – the others who can really make a difference through what harm they do, I don’t know. I’m still making some more masks because I believe people will soon become lax about social distancing when more freedom of movement is allowed and mayhem may ensue with more outbreaks.

    What I’ve learned through the lockdown and being forced to do without coffee shops with friends is that I invest too much in other people and in my expectations (there is too much which is shallow and selfish for me in this world) This is mostly focused on my creative endevours which just don’t bring the rewards I hoped for. Well if I can handle this, I can handle anything because they are tough learning curves and very personal ones. But these investments and expectations are what I have to let go of – don’t expect anything. But don’t be bitter, be open, genuine and kind because that is who I am. Learning to LET IT GO, to let go of my niggling issues which mar my freedom in my own world is what this lockdown has been all about for me. So i’m coming at it from a slightly different angle, but I’m right with you nonetheless.

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    1. Hi Lynne, my apologies for the slow response time. It’s been more than a little hectic here. I think I mentioned that after my surgery another one of my kitties got sick. Who knew kitties had gallbladder attacks? Not me! All is well and quiet at the moment, though.
      I think you are smart to continue to make masks. And your comment is quite prescient: with freedom of movement people are becoming more lax and our numbers are rising. In my state, North Carolina, the numbers of both positive cases and hospitalizations are rising rapidly. It’s very worrying. And since I wrote this post there is a global revolution occurring! And I, too, miss meeting my friends for coffee and in-person conversation. It’s a lot to be going through for all of us. And it does seem like we are all going through this precarious time together. Take care. x

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  6. Maybe you should start a book of wisdom Cheryl – starting with the do good but take no shit rule in your last post! I’m glad that this time has given you insight into what’s important for you and that you’re finding a way through the divisiveness.

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  8. I always enjoy seeing your posts Cheryl and wish you well in your shoulder recovery.

    These are indeed strange times, almost too bizarre to believe they are happening. I, like you, have been fortunate to live in a place where I am essentially sheltered from the day-to-day craziness of the pandemic and am extremely grateful for it. I hope more will utilize this gift of time and reflection to realize and appreciate what’s been taken for granted, prioritize what really matters, and understand that simplicity is true living. We can each only do our part and let the rest go.

    Warm wishes to you and yours for continued good health and peace of mind.

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  9. Beautifully said, as always, in a very Cheryl way! I swear to god, Americans have gone completely feral in lockdown. At least some of them. I nearly got plowed head-on by a bicyclist on the path where I took the picture for my newsletter. Only about a third of folks at the beach are wearing masks. Social distancing died weeks ago. And my dad watched two turtle patrol ladies uncover a pile of trash — beer bottles and whatnot — buried in a heap of sand on the beach. I mean, people, seriously?

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  11. What a hoot. I laughed, too, in recognition as much as Snoop listening to Let it Go. I agree. I don’t have a lot of patience anymore for some of the nuttiness and illogic. There is no way to understand it, though I have tried. So moving forward, I’m right there with you.

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  12. The link didn’t take me to Snoop but it’s all good. I’ve discovered just how a simple life has helped me through this. What I miss is going for coffee at my favorite shop. And bookstores. Getting together with my writing buddy once a week. That’s pretty much it. I’ve decided to avoid negativity and embrace possibility.

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