Letter to My Husband: An Anniversary Tale of Love and Survival.
Here it is—our 30th Anniversary.
Can you believe it? 30 years.
We have been through so much together.
We have raised two babies to become wonderful young women.
We have celebrated birthdays and Paschas and Christmases and Name Days and all the occasions that come along with daughters—Graduations, sports victories, academic awards, high school proms, science fairs, talent shows, college orientations, summer camps, new jobs, vacations, and all the rest.
And then there were the “bumps in the road” that come along with having daughters. Yes, we have survived those together, too. Even when we were not so sure we would.
Even then, we did.
We have buried our family and friends. We have learned that it is true: Only the good die young.
We know this first-hand.
We have loved—passionately, compassionately, and unconditionally. Maybe not always perfectly, but completely. Yes, completely.
We have fought—sometimes to the point that I was afraid there was no going back.
We have forgiven—sometimes with words, sometimes with action, sometimes with an understood silence. Sometimes, the silent forgiving was the best.
We have laughed and we have cried and we have occasionally lost our way.
We have seen each other at our best and, unfortunately, at our not so best.
And sometimes, like those fist-bumps that wanted to be hugs and words that were
spewed in a moment of anger, we have hurt each other.
Sometimes, deeply.
Love and life are difficult. I don’t care what anyone says—a marriage is hard work. And people change through the years. A lot. Sometimes, I don’t know how folks even survive one day.
But I know this:
There is no one else that I ever want to spend another year with or even another day with.
You are my past, present, and future.
You are my forever.
There are a lot of WEs in those previous sentences and I would not be the happy, adventurous free spirit that I am today if not for you. If not for WE.
You truly are the wind beneath my wings.
I love you for letting me be me.
Marriage and Love and Life, and all that goes along with them, are difficult.
All I know is: Somehow, somehow, somehow, we work. And that makes me happy.
Here’s to many more years together.
For better, for worse…until death do us part.
“What has conveniently looked like a single relationship in fact sits across so many evolutions, disconnections, renegotiations, intervals of distance and emotional homecomings that he has in truth gone through at least a dozen divorces and remarriages – just to the same person.“~A Course of Love: A Novel by Alain de Botton
Pictures taken through the years–through these 30 years.
Such a beautiful letter touched me deeply, restores my faith in marriage. I don’t hear enough happy-marriage stories. Your photos are lovely too. Proof in the pictures. Thanks for posting this.
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Thanks so much, Arlene.
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What a beautiful letter. Made me cry and I don’t do so easily. You got me in the feels.
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Thanks so much, Lisa! 😊
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So beautifully said. Congratulations on your 30 years of loving, growing and staying together. It is quite an accomplishment in these times…not unlike the golden anniversaries of our grandparents. Beautiful family. Thank you for sharing this with us.
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Thank you so much. 32 years this August. The time went by so quickly-at least looking back on it.
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Thanks Cathy. This year will make 32 years. So far so good! 🙂
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Congratulations . A good marriage is the best good fortune anyone can be blessed with. De botton is right, it is many marriages. I hope this years incarnation has been equally good.
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That was so sweet!
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Thank you. Thanks for reading my words:)
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Your words are beautiful, raw and real! If I were to give a young person advice on how to stay married, it would be — Let your partner be themselves, allow them to evolve, let them chase their dreams, & you do the same. The best way to stay married is to hold on lightly, not with a death grip. Congratulations to you & your husband. Thank you for sharing your love store.
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Thank you, April! And your advice is right on. It’s a balance–holding on without gripping. Thanks so much for your words:)
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beautiful tribute to marriage and to life. So true. I appreciate your honesty about the challenging and heart-breaking parts. Whew! No kidding. Mike and I celebrated 35 years on August 22. Congratulations and Happiest of Anniversary’s to you two—–
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35! Then you know all of this:) It is true, marriage is wonderful, but can also break your heart. I’m thankful it’s broken mine open, not apart. Thank you and congrats to you guys, too!
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What a beautifully written letter. What a beautiful couple. Congratulations on staying strong and making it through. Love you both 🙂
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Thank you, Anna. Love you, too.❤️
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