One More Day

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Today’s my Daddy’s birthday. He would’ve been 86. He left us way too soon at 59. Our family never recovered from this unexpected devastating loss. We sort of all spun outward in every direction from the center of what, or who, held us together. But, does anyone ever really recover from the loss of a parent or sibling? No, I believe it stays within us and informs the way we view everything in the world. There’s always a longing to go back, for one more day, one more hug, one more laugh, one more unanswered question. And yet, I know, if I am being honest, that one more day with him would only bring more pain as the inevitable clock strikes midnight calling me back.

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I’ve been writing about Daddy a lot lately. I have a family trip planned for October that has me thinking about family history and immigration, among other things. I’m going with a large group of cousins, and a sister, to Italy to visit the village that his dad, my paternal grandpa, came from. I’m looking at it as a homecoming of sorts. A completed circle. A “this is where we came from” experience. A beLonging. A “these are my people” moment. 

More to follow…

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My Dad Franklin Delano Capaldo the original Selfie taker and son of an Italian immigrant.

 

 


28 thoughts on “One More Day

  1. Thank you very much for sharing this. I imagine this must be a difficult day for you. Photos speak volumes, don’t they? My mom has stage 4 Parkinson’s, and when I see photos of her before she became ill, the feelings of loss and sadness can overwhelm me. I admire your ability to write about your father. Thanks again for posting this. And I hope you’re having a good day.

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    1. It used to be more difficult. Now it’s just a knowing, if that makes sense. Photos are so magical. They can transport you to a completely different time and place. I love photos of my parents, grandparents. I can also understand how pictures can overwhelm and sadden us. There is a sense of loss that comes with disease and illness. I wonder if you’re mother might feel that, too. Thanks for reading. I’m a little behind on my blog reading, but I don’t like to rush through the blogs I follow. I’ll sit down with a cup of coffee tomorrow and catch up. Have a good evening:)

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  2. Love this and boy in am jealous about the trip to Italy!😃. That will be a lot of fun. I have had my granny on my mind a lot these past few weeks. Wishing that I had learned to can my vegetables. I am so happy to have these stories to read.

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  3. I also refer to my late father as “Daddy” At one time in my adult life I switched it to “Dad” and he asked me why I didn’t call him “Daddy.” I went right back to “Daddy” and always refer to him that way. I love that you do that, as well. He was sure young when you lost him. I am sorry for that. My mother was too young and as I am getting closer to that age, I think more about my own mortality. I am so happy that you are going on the trip and expect that the experience will be amazing. I watch Everybody Loves Raymond every night and one a couple of episodes the whole family went to Italy and their roots. Now, I will think about your trip and will be very interested in your experiences in the land where your roots are. Thank you for sharing about your Daddy. He must have been one special fellow. Just look at his daughter!

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    1. He was so special! We always called him Daddy. I am the youngest of 4 daughters. I am really looking forward to the trip to Italy! I think it will be an enlightening, soul-satisfying journey! I know it will give me plenty to write about. Thanks for reading, Lisa. 💕

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  4. I am always swamped with a personal sadness when I read posts about the loss and subsequent moments, days and years of grief after losing a good parent. All I want to say is how wonderful that you love and were loved so much that you feel this loss still and how wonderful that you have the memories you have. Do not grieve that it is over, celebrate that it happened. I love that your daddy was the original selfie proponent – he looks young and fun and highly amused with himself in those shots. I hope your trip to Italy is absolutely wonderful, it is my second favourite place in the entire world, Tuscany especially.

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    1. Thank you, Pauline. You have him pegged quite perfectly! He was fun and funny. Always the clown. I am so looking forward to the trip to Italy. My grandfather was from Campo di Giove in the Abruzzo region, less than 900 residents. We will also be staying on the border between Umbria and Tuscany on the Trasimeno Lake. The photos look breathtaking!

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  5. I’m sorry you lost your dad so early. I’ve been lucky to have my parents around a long time and, in fact, just wrote a draft post about a recent trip (to Italy, coincidentally) with them. I hope your trip back to his origins brings him back to you in some small way!

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    1. Thank you. I think, at least, it will satisfy some curiosity and inspire some writing. I look forward to reading your blog post. Also, any Italy trip tips you’d like to share with me, I’d appreciate that. We’ll be in Rome, Abruzzo region, Florence, Umbria/Tuscany border. Thanks:)

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  6. Hi Cheryl, this popped into my inbox yesterday, May 7, which was actually my own father’s birthday, and for a moment I thought it was yours too, but it’s because I get a digest – I see your post is dated May 2. Anyway, I wanted to say I loved this tribute to your Dad and hope you have a super trip to Italy in October. My Dad would have been 94 yesterday, although he died at 82, which he always talked about as ‘a good innings’. I’m so sorry you lost your father when he was so young. Sending you warm thoughts. X

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    1. I understand that so much, Jean. It is the seasons, more than a holiday or just one particular day, that really gets me thinking about my Dad. We spent a lot of time together walking through the woods and being outside. I always think of him when the dogwoods and spring ephemerals bloom. I don’t remember seeing a recent post about your Dad. Did this writing appear somewhere else? 59 is way too young for us to have lost our Dads. xx

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